Curves vs. Points

For a good portion of my life, I’ve been quite comfortable with the idea of living in the present, both rationally & emotionally. From my logical & rational side, I was comfortable enough with the concept of time to understand that all we truly have is “now”. That allowed me to be curious and dig into the concepts of time & consciousness & existence. From my emotional side, I also understood that there was no sense in hanging on to past events, or worrying about a future that hadn’t yet arrived (and may never). So, I felt pretty well-equipped to handle whatever was coming my way. 

Still, I recently started to understand that I had been conditioning myself to adapt to my environment, both in my work & personal lives, in ways that were not serving me. In the case of work, I’ve been pretty diligent in protecting my time & focus from intrusions from others. I had toned down most of my alerts & notifications in my tools. Regardless, I still felt a bit “thinned out”, like I was experiencing things too rapidly or too superficially.  

On a lunchtime walk (one of my daily routines that I protect from all intrusive meeting requests), I was able to visualize what my experience of time felt like. I know that the present is all we have, but I could sense that I was narrowing my experience of the present to this narrow point in time, like a sharp crease in a sheet of paper. Something about that visual showed me that I was starting to treat my own experience of time just as a sequence of events that would move rapidly in succession. 

My logical habits made it easy to not dwell on past events. I wasn’t always successful in avoiding worry about the future, but I could at least rationalize that worry was a useless expenditure of energy. However, this approach also made it easy for me to simply expect the next experience to happen and I would feel caught up in the pace of keeping up with the machinery of work & tasks. 

From that lunchtime walk, I’ve learned to shift my experience of the present, and instead of it appearing to me as a sharp inflection point between the past & the future, I’m now seeing it as a gentler curve. There’s something immediately more accepting & forgiving with a curve instead of a sharp angle. There’s also a feeling of spaciousness, like driving in an extra-wide lane on a road. 

Seeing the present as the crest of a curve gives me the chance to experience that present as a larger moment, and to almost negate the idea of time passing. That curve helps me to also reflect on what has happened, not for good or bad but just to understand it. It also gives me a chance to celebrate what has come to pass. I realize that I don’t take the time to celebrate the small wins, so this is that opportunity for me. The visual of the slow curve towards the future also allows me to look forward with anticipation & curiosity instead of as an immediate jump to the next thing. 

It’s a small shift in perspective, but it’s already had some immediate positive effects. I truly give myself to the present and allow it to take up space and mentally slow things down. I feel much less of the staccato pace of life that I was experiencing before. I make sure that I have the chance to reflect & celebrate what I’ve experienced. And even more than before, worry is put aside as the road gently unfolds before me. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope it has resonated with you in some way.